The facts...

Oh kay so I thought it only fair
That I set the record straight.
Even if only for myself
So I don't grow angry and bitter and old.
And so my friend doesn't start
Scaring people into witness protection.
Yesh she's crazy but I lov'er!

Oh kay.
So here they are,
The facts.
Phone call.
Lightweight conversation.
Conversation turned heavy fast.
Heavy turned "What if?"
What if we took a break.
What if we waited.
Chilled til after school.
What if we're rushing.
I can't leave now I know I can't.
[That wasn't me]
What if you came here.
What if we just get our lives sorted out first.
What if we try again later.
What if we made a mistake maybe?
[That part was in my head.
I thought that's what he was thinking..]
And what if turned to
Him-"I want this to be a mutual decision.
I don't want any heart break."
Me-"That can't be avoided."
Him-"I know."
And then
Him-"We aren't breaking up,
We're just taking a break.."
And
Him-"Hey you're still technically my girlfriend."
Me-"No. I'm not. I'm just here
Until you decide you want me again.."
Him-"............."
[That was silence.]
Then there was the bit about
Him trying to get me to accept a
Christmas present
And what did I want it to be..
And then me saying
I'm sorry I have to go
And hanging up because
I couldn't hold it in any longer..
Thus the earlier blog.

So there are the facts.
Anna,
No bodily harm?
He is a sweet guy.
And I still love him.
It's not his fault.
And I'm not angry.
Not really.
I'm actually very proud of him.
He did what he believes he has to do
To get his life straight and to be
"Fixed"

Somehow I forgot to mention to him
That he shouldn't try and go it alone...
But I think I would hate myself if I had.
I mean seriously.
Aren't I doing enough sniveling and whining
and pouting and sobbing online?
Yeah...
No trickery.
No "But baby I love I can help you wah wah wah!"
Yeah..
He doesn't need that.
It's all true but,
He doesn't need that.
He needs me to support him and..
Not sound different.
Well I'll try babe, really I will..
But I can't guarantee the not different part.
Not for a while.
Not while it still hurts.
And now it gets redundant..

But Hey!
Maybe someday I won't be so pathetic
That I have to write five blogs
About my ex
In one day!
Oh,
There is something to look forward to......