He's right..

He's right.
I can't take this.
I can't handle this...
I did break down.
Am in the process of breaking down..
That was the first time
I have ever had to literally hang up the phone
because I couldn't control my sobbing..
I can't even control it now.
Babe,
for your sake and mine,
I hope you don't read this one.
Maybe I shouldn't have told you there were more..
I don't know.
All I know is...
Well,
That you have to do what you need to do.
I already know what I need.
I need you.
And now,
I'm just broken..
I know that's not what you meant to happen.
And it's not even your fault.
I just hurt.
All inside and outside..
I go through stages of numbness,
of "No it's not true this isn't happening!"
But mostly,
I'm just hurting..
I love you so much.
I really do.
And...
I can't even think about thinking about anyone else.
Damnit.
I'm sorry!
I'm so so sorry!
I'm such a mess..
I should be supporting this!
I need to be happy for you..
Getting things straight and working out your life..
Trying to make things right..
For you and me and the future us..
If there is one.
Will there be a future us?
Do you want that?
Why does it feel like I've just lost you...
Was this one of those times
when I'm supposed to fight back?
I mean... You did.
That one night..
You did.
You said you love me and.. you'd do anything..
Wait as long as it takes...
And now,
I'm the one waiting.
And I don't know.. I don't know how long..
How long I'll be waiting..
Or if I should..
Maybe I should move on with myself..
Not anyone else but..
You know I've always been better off alone..
It's just how I am.
I'll be fine.
Don't worry.
Be happy.
You know I'll be here if you need me.
When you need me.
Probably even when you call tomorrow
or the next day.
Just don't expect my heart to be there right away..
It might not be back for a while..
It might need some time..
It might need to do a little bit
of sitting alone and healing..
Like I'm doing now.
I know I'm not done crying over you yet..
But maybe eventually I will be.
Maybe.
Probably not.
But that's not what I'm going to tell you.
What I'm going to tell you is...
Just that I'm oh kay.
And I will be oh kay.
And you should be too.
Oh kay?
Just do me a favor?
Do what you have to do
And don't be afraid of maybe moving on..
Cuz I think you will..
I know you will always love me.
Just like you will always love Angela.
But you aren't with her are you?
Just know that I'll always love you too.
Because I will.
And I'm sorry if the spelling is all wrong..
I can't really see what I'm typing..................... . . . . .