I was fine until..

Why does this happen?
I was fine.
I was fine.
Yeah.
I was fine until my good friend
Asked how life was..
I was fine until I started thinking about it.
I was fine until I started sorting it.
I was fine until I started feeling it.
I was fine until I had to re-stash it.
I was fine until I was left alone with it.

Starting to sound like a never ending cycle.
It sounds a lot like me a week ago..
Oh God,
It was only a week ago?
It was was only a week ago.

I'm shaking.
I'm actually shaking.
And I feel all sped up and
Stuck in a numb slow-motion simultaneously..
I'm so messed up.
Or maybe I'm finally letting myself out..
Of my head or wherever it is that selves hide.
Sure, she has a serval,
but isn't that what I told her?
We just aren't hiding it.
Except,
I am.
I need to, it seems.
I don't care what other people think.
Or how they might react.
It's me I don't know about.

There's this quote..
"Me, I'm dishonest.
And you can always trust
the dishonest to be dishonest.
It's the honest ones you have to watch out for,
Honestly, because you never know
when they're going to do something..
Incredibly.. Stupid."

That's me.
You never know what I might do.
Well, I never know.
You might.
Seeing as how everyone knows me,
And I'm so predictable.
Good for you.
Pat yourself on the back
For understanding the predictable girl.
Excuse me while I go do something predictable,
And try to wipe everything out of my mind.
And you know what?
Fuck you,
Whoever you are...
I'm not really sure yet, but there are a couple of you.
And of course they are the ones
Who won't ever see these words...
But what the hell?
I just really wanted to say it.
Get it out of my system.
Fuck you.

PS> Holly,
If you read that one,
I'm sorry.
I'm not proud of myself,
But for the first time in a while I don't care.
And I wasn't talking to you.
And It wasn't your fault.
You helped me a lot today.
I missed you.
And besides,
I was bound to be depressed today.
It's been a week, today...