My "Black"..

A few days ago, my friend asked
What I want to do with my life.
I didn't know what to do with the question.
I told him my plans like college and profession.
I didn't realize that none of that is really it.
Those are things I might do, or experience,
But they aren't my life.
Don't define my life.
My life is a twisting and turning trail
of the unknown.
What I know, though, is that
I want to do something worth doing.
I want to be with someone for the sake of being with them.
I want to love unconditionally.
I want to live with no regrets, no restraints,
And not let fear hold me back.
I want to accomplish all that I dream I can.
I want to be set on fire and let out to sea when I die.
No casket.
I want to find myself.
I want to not be afraid to express myself.
I want to try new things.
I want to travel.
Learn things and see places instead of only imagining.
I want to have a home in Ireland, that I can visit.
Most likely end up alone,
Not find that "One True Love" everyone is raving about.
But never truly alone, because I have my family.
My real family.
Blood runs thicker than water..
Family.
Meagan and Ben and mum and
Leah and Holly and Ellora and.. Luke?
We'll see..
One of my friends calls this my black.
To be content where I am.
To not screw things up for myself.
To live in the dark.
Not expressing specific thoughts or feelings
For fear of losing what amazing relationships I have.
He sees no point in this.
But, nonetheless, it is what I know.
Have always known.
It is what I do.
And I'll be oh kay with it.
Well... I will make peace with it at any rate.
Just give me some time,
And leave me to my lovely dark corner to think and brood..
I'll be fine.